Funny Ways to Tell Your Roomate to Get Out of the Room

Kari is a retired operating room registered nurse. Although she is retired, the interest never waned. She loves all things OR related.

Photo by ReSurge International Edited by Kari Poulsen

Am I Sterile?

I have been an operating room nurse for many years. It is a very challenging and very rewarding profession. There is a ton of stress, and to even it out, a ton of fun.

In the operating room, sterile is everything. You must know what is sterile and what is non. You must never turn your back on a sterile field. A "sterile" team member is sterile on their front, from the acme of the sterile field to the neck. Artillery are sterile from elbows to fingertips. Faces, backs, and armpits are not sterile.

One twenty-four hour period working with an orthopedic surgeon, he slipped on something and vicious. As he brutal, he went down directly on his dorsum making certain to keep his hands and artillery up. His first question subsequently falling was, "Am I still sterile?" It is truthful, he kept his front and artillery and easily off the floor. But all of him was below the height of the sterile field. I was laughing and then hard I could barely catch my jiff to tell him no.

A Joke

Working on call can be trying and tiring. One day I was on call with another adult female. We had been working direct through since 6:30 am. Information technology was now 2 am the adjacent morning. We must have been slap-happy with exhaustion.

The surgeon entered the room and told us the following joke:

"Did you lot hear about the dyslexic, insomniac agnostic? He stayed up all night wondering if at that place was a dog."

I know the joke is not so funny, but she and I laughed for almost 15 minutes. We laughed so hard that we could non begin the surgery. The surgeon kept telling united states of america information technology wasn't that funny, which only made us laugh more than. The actual surgery took less time than our laughing.

Do You Accept a Tampon?

Nosotros took extra precautions when performing full knee joint or hip replacements. No one was allowed to go out or enter the room. 1 part of maintaining a sterile field is restricting how many times the door to the outside of the room is opened.

One day, while I was charge nurse, another nurse pulled my to the side. "Practice you have whatever tampons?", she asked, "Deb just chosen out of the total hip request for i." I told the nurse that Deb probably wanted a femoral wick (a sponge used for drying the femoral canal...more than commonly called a "tampon"). The nurse was convinced Deb wanted a tampon until I asked her, "Where will she change it?" That did it, she knew no one would change their tampon with an entire room of people watching.

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What Do Crazy Glue, a Bra Hook, and a Rubber Ring Take in Common?

Tin can you imagine a surgery where the dr. asks you for crazy gum, a bra hook, and a safety band? I was working 1 day, and a doctor asked for for exactly that! I thought he was joking. I only laughed at him. Doctors were ever sending nurses for strangely named things that don't exist. Well, I establish out he was not joking the moment he yelled at me to go and go them. I went out and found out that, yes, we had these items. The md used them as a retraction device for a finger surgery. He put the rubber band around the wrist, crazy glued the bra hook to the fingernail and hooked the bra hook to the rubber band to keep the finger bent.

Funny Names

We have funny names for many things:

• "Hand grenade" is non an explosive device, information technology is a type of drain reservoir, it looks like a paw grenade.
• "Tampon" is non something only used by females, it is a femoral wick to dry out out the heart of the bone during total joints.
• "Sponge" is not something to launder dishes with, it is a thin to thick piece of gauze to absorb the wound with.
• "Time out" is not putting the child in the corner considering they accept misbehaved, it is making sure y'all take the right patient, right site, and right implants.
• "4 X 4" is not a slice of wood, it is a blazon of "sponge."

Mitochondrial Welder

Surgery is a place where people dearest to play jokes on the new person. Some of the things we inquire for are nonexistent...for example:

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"Mitochondrial Welder" is something that is ofttimes asked for. I in one case worked with a nurse who had been in the OR for virtually 5 years. We had asked her for the Mitochondrial Welder when she was new...who would have thought she would fall for it again. 1 day I found her and a new (to the OR) nurse in the stockroom, frantically looking for something. I asked what they were looking for and they told me "the mitochondrial welder." I laughed and told them to go back and say we didn't accept ane. I reminded them at that place is no such thing.

New Drugs?

New drugs come out every twenty-four hours. I day, in the urology room, an anesthesia provider decided to have fun with one of the nurses. He told her the patient kept moving and he needed some "nomoveatall'. She was desperately calling Pharmacy, when I establish out and stopped her.

This became a large joke....merely some people never learn.

Afterwards that same month I found this nurse calling Pharmacy to ask for some nocoxafloxin. Once once again, the asking came from the urology room. I told her to hang up, there is no drug called "no cocks a flopping."

Special Place for Special People

The OR is a special place for special people. Your ego has to be strong enough that it doesn't get caught upwards in the fun and games...and big enough that it doesn't go hurt by them. I dearest my job and all information technology's inconsistencies. The bonus is at that place is always a demand for OR Nurses in this world.

A Joke About 5 Doctors

This article is authentic and true to the all-time of the writer'southward knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does non substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

© 2009 Kari Poulsen

Frances Metcalfe from The Limousin, France on January 09, 2017:

I laughed out loud. I wonder what jokes were made when I was under the knife? My son works as a care worker for severely disabled people - the humour is very black! How else do you cope?

Erjohn on January x, 2015:

Prissy post. I think that developing a brand peiatnslroy and staying consistent with that is so important. People get too caught up in thinking about how they need to sound on social media. While it is certainly skilful to go along that in mind, I find information technology is best to relax and just be yourself with it. People desire something that is valuable but as well relateable.

Tricia Spaeth from Mequon, WI on November 05, 2014:

One night, my concluding dark "on -call" because I was 8 months pregnant. Well I got called in for a mitt injury. Information technology was substantially a messed up manus because the boozer patient smashed a glass beer bottle on a tabular array. Then we started the hand reconstruction at ten:00 pm. We usually apply a basic room for on-call, so extra special instruments, sutures, plastics supplies etc were kept manner down in another expanse of the OR. Well luck would have it, the doctor decided he was going to try to reconstruct the nerve, significant microscope, special supplies etc. Mind you it is just me and a tech who is scrubbed in. I had to run back and forth to a separate part of the OR. I finally wheeled in the entire suture cart. Well, at 6:30 am, totally wearied, the medico starts with the cast. He is making a huge mess on the floor. Yes, we have to mop the flooring postal service on phone call cases. He made such a mess. Well, he turns and slips on the floor. The entire room breaks out laughing, I did inquire between laughs if he was ok, and the tech had to leave the room stating he has allergies he was laughing and then hard. We now call the MD Hang time, since it seemed he hung in the air a lilliputian before crashing down on the flooring and taking the linen purse with him. I still express joy when I talk to the tech almost that case.

Spastic Surgeon on July 28, 2010:

As a surgical tech with nearly 30 years experience here is ane of the many stories that stick out for me. Some of the funniest moments happen after the patient receives a little bit of sedation just prior to surgery.

It's not uncommon for the Anesthesia staff to give a patient some sedation while they are in the pre-op belongings surface area. Information technology helps them to relax and reduces their anxiety.

One guy was given some Versed about 15 minutes before surgery. As he was being wheeled out of the property area, going down the OR hallway, he starts singing the almost memorable part of a 3 Domestic dog Night hit song, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog….Jeremiah was a bullfrog…Jeremiah was a bullfrog".

This guy was a hoot, he said he wanted his gallbladder back after we took it, wanted to brand a Christmas tree decoration out information technology.

Spastic Surgeon on July 28, 2010:

Every bit a surgical tech with nearly thirty years experience here is one of the many stories that stick out for me. Some of the funniest moments happen after the patient receives a petty bit of sedation just prior to surgery.

It'southward not uncommon for the Anesthesia staff to requite a patient some sedation while they are in the pre-op holding area. It helps them to relax and reduces their anxiety.

One guy was given some Versed about 15 minutes before surgery. Every bit he was being wheeled out of the belongings area, going downwardly the OR hallway, he starts singing the most memorable function of a Three Dog Nighttime hitting song, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog….Jeremiah was a bullfrog…Jeremiah was a bullfrog".

This guy was a hoot, he said he wanted his gallbladder back after nosotros took it, wanted to make a Christmas tree decoration out it.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on February 25, 2010:

Pradeep, LOL...that must accept been embarrassing! :D

Pradeep on February 15, 2010:

Wow.. that's funny

I had a funny experiences as well

Last Valentine's Day I was taking shower. My roommate was out of house to buy milk to make tea. Suddenly the doorbell rings. I thought its him and went to open up the door in my under pants to discover 18 years old daughter of my landlord is there to give me the neb of electricity. information technology was really the biggest embarrassing experience

check out similar experiences at http://www.textcurve.com

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on December 22, 2009:

ORCharger, If I had a dime for every time someone's been sent for the Otis elevator...I've been asked for the "sterile fan", a right sleeve, and extra large pouch...I judge we simply acquire to laugh at ourselves a little easier than most. :D

ORCharger on December 13, 2009:

Soooo funny! On my first official day in the OR, in the middle of a example, one of our ortho docs yelled "I demand the Otis elevator, STAT!!" My precepting nurse said "Go grab it. It's right out in the hall" equally he pretended to be decorated doing something. I was running through the halls, scanning the cupboards for some ortho instrument that I never heard of, when Tim (a surgical tech) walked by and asked what I was looking for. I franticlly explained that "Dr. Bozo" (not his real name...lol) needed the Otis lift, STAT!!! Very calmly, he said "Information technology'due south right over here" and led me over to the main hospital elevators, simply outside the OR entrance. He pointed to the the top of the elevator'southward doors where the elevator visitor'due south logo was displayed. I looked up and saw a pocket-size metallic plaque with "OTIS" written on it. I was so embarassed. I didn't even go back to the room (my precepting nurse was nonetheless in there...I would never abandon my patient!). Men are and so dumb! Us girls in my OR never do that to the newbies!! (Well at least not as oftentimes!!)

Kari Poulsen (writer) from Ohio on November 08, 2009:

nursebetty, You should do just fine...the blazon A-ness is learned and a huge ego is not needed, just a strong sense of self. It is more the desire to piece of work in the OR setting that ensures success or failure. Allow me know how you exercise, and electronic mail me if you lot have any specific questions or need to vent. Good Luck! :D

nursebetty on November 05, 2009:

kari - funny stories, merely I am going for OR interview in ii hours never having had whatever feel in an OR...and now a footling 'concerned' about the 'type' of person I may need to be to withstand the pressure. I'm not a type A personality; do not have a huge ego; am in mid fifties (new RN of three years)but have wanted to attempt OR nursing forever! Wish me luck....I think I might need it after reading your articles!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on Apr 26, 2009:

I've got to go some shut middle also! Don't desire to waste tomorrow sleeping! Good luck with the week!

mayhmong from N Carolina on April 25, 2009:

wish I can stay upwardly longer, and catch up on all of my fellow hubbers, but I demand some rest. Looks similar another long week of no days off once more...

Kari Poulsen (writer) from Ohio on April 25, 2009:

May, are you as well feeling like an insomniac tonight? or and agnostic insomniac I should say. LOL, that joke is sooo stupid, but it still makes me laugh. This is about when I first heard it, also.

mayhmong from North Carolina on Apr 25, 2009:

I wonder if there'south a dog...

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on Apr 25, 2009:

May, It'south not all fun and games, but when it is, information technology Really is! We have a lot of fun.

mayhmong from North Carolina on April 25, 2009:

Can't believe I read through the whole thing half awake!? That was too friggin hilarious! What will they recollect of adjacent?

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on Apr 25, 2009:

mythbuster, The laughs assist us, and the stress makes the states more willing to laugh! It's a different world, but fun.

mythbuster from Utopia, Oz, Y'all Decide on Apr 25, 2009:

Twisted! I'll bet yous need all the jokes to become through the stress at times.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on April 18, 2009:

trish, I exercise not allow people to talk almost the patient in my rooms. If someone comes needing surgery, they are trusting us to take care of them. My biggest chore in the OR is a patient advocate...if I take hold of someone talking almost my patient, I will lay into them and show my claws! The need has only presented itself 2 or iii times in over 15 years, then residuum bodacious it is not common.

trish1048 on April 18, 2009:

Hi Thou@ri,

I've had my share of operations, and I've oftentimes wondered what they talk about while I was away in neverland.  I've imagined all sorts of things they could accept said, and the thoughts were not nice.  Of course, the best role is, I'll never know :)

A very nice hub!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on March xv, 2009:

Thanks Elena, glad you enjoyed information technology! I concord, although it doesn't keep in every case, information technology'south a skilful thing people are comatose. We attempt to comport when they are awake:)

Elena. from Madrid on March 15, 2009:

k@ri, you funny OR nurse, you! I gotta tell you, I've got tears streaming down my face up! Geeeez wheeez, it's a expert affair people are knocked off while all this fun goes on over their open bowels! Laugh!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on March 15, 2009:

I can just run across his face when that pager went off. LOL!

Joanna McKenna from Central Oklahoma on March xiv, 2009:

No, ward clerks didn't go into ORs (in this instance, commitment rooms).  We were the  Radar O'Reillys, keeping a lot of balls in the air.  Beingness a teaching hospital, it would've been the med students who needed to check before they saturday.  They were the everyman of the depression in the pecking order, even lower than a WC, who for at least the get-go week of each monthly rotation already knew more than about than they did.  And med students were so gullible!  If the newbie on duty was hanging around the nurses station with null to practice, I'd ring his pager simply to watch him become all excited.  Oh boy!  And so watch his face fall when it dawned the page came from the nurses station.  ;)  I'd just smile and say "Pager works, get some sleep" (in the room set aside for students, not a gurney!).

As for the non-existent surgical instrument, my ain version was to send an OB med student on a wild goose chase for lab results that could only employ to a xc-twelvemonth-old on the Geriatrics flooring or a 4-twelvemonth-old on Peds.  ;)

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on March fourteen, 2009:

Your stories make me laugh with addicted memories! Do yous recall a foam that y'all could scrub with, it came in a metal bottle like mousse does? I think a time when you lot always wanted to check before y'all sabbatum, because the docs thought information technology was great fun to spray information technology on your seat while y'all were gowning or otherwise distracted. Information technology is and so truthful that these people need to exist kept busy!

I bet that med educatee never barbarous asleep once again, and I bet he tells that story to this twenty-four hours. LOL!

Joanna McKenna from Fundamental Oklahoma on March thirteen, 2009:

I tin *totally* chronicle to OR staff pulling applied jokes to ease the tension!  Back in the 70s, I was the babysitter...uh, ward clerk...on OB in a education hospital.  Our residents were existent cut-ups ('scuse the pun)...imagine M*A*Due south*H's Hawkeye and BJ delivering babies instead of treating war wounds.  When things were slow (meaning virtually of the month of July), they'd accept "duels" up and down the halls using behemothic syringes for water pistols.  One day the action was in forepart of the nurses station, so when one ran out of water, he stepped into the half-bathroom at the dorsum to fill his "pistol" from the toilet!  OHNOYOUDONT! I yelled, and shooed him out. Other times they'd fill up rubber gloves with water, necktie off the ends, and toss 'em back and forth.  When they tired of that, they'd put the balloons in the tubes used to ship paperwork back and forth (like in a depository financial institution's drive-thru).  Tubes not coded for a particular flooring would country (literally) in a basket in medical records in the basement.  Problem existence OB was on the 7th flooring, and a heavy tube would come out of the ceiling in MR like a rocket, then open on affect!  MR was sure the h2o bombs were from 7th Due west, and we could precisely count downward the seconds until they'd be calling to cuss out Frick and Frack. Of course I always said *our* docs couldn't possibly exist responsible for such pranks.  ;)

A tired med pupil in one case vicious comatose on a gurney in the hall.  Woke upward in a delivery room under a sheet with his legs in stirrups, looking at a gowned and gloved Frick or Frack clicking episiotomy scissors and cackling.  You betcha the poor guy never brutal comatose on a gurney once more! These 2 got away with stuff because when information technology counted, they were *the best* OBs anywhere.  Only when they had naught to practise, scout out!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on March 01, 2009:

Proud Mom--Yes it'south stressful, but sooo much fun. There is never a irksome day! Thanks, and I glad you lot are OK...wouldn't want to see "Adult female chokes on cookie while reading most new drug nocoxaflopin".

Proud Mom from The states on March 01, 2009:

No wonder y'all love your job! I've always thought it had to be a stressful job, but y'all guys know how to break the monotony.

The urology joke made me choke on the cookie I was eating!

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on February 04, 2009:

Cheers. (I've been accused of taking my task too seriously at times...but when you take people to the brink of expiry, cut them open, sew them upwards, and wake them up...doesn't it brand sense)

49er from USA on February 03, 2009:

These are some dandy and very amusing stories.

My female parent is a nurse, every bit was her mother, and they too have some very agreeable stories, just this is not to say they don't take their chore seriously, because they take just equally many tragic stories to tell. Similar you said, humor tin exist a groovy mode to remove stress.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on February 01, 2009:

Thanks! I'll become have a look.

Peggy Wood from Houston, Texas on February 01, 2009:

Howdy yard@ri,

I was an OR nurse at Methodist Hospital in the Texas Medical Center waaaaaaay back in the 70's. I also loved it! As you say, it is high stress merely also a lot of fun. Most everybody loved orthopedic surgery. With most of the patients......it is not a life and decease situation like it can be with some other types of surgery. Therefore the best jokes and laughter were ever heard in those rooms.

Since you are a boyfriend nurse, take a await at some of my hubs regarding the emergency stickers. The medical people really grasp the importance of how they can truly help in emergency situations. An entire hospital organization up in Rhode Island is putting information about them into every person's parcel when being discharged from that hospital.

Looking forward to reading more of your hubs! Your newest fan.

Kari Poulsen (author) from Ohio on February 01, 2009:

Thanks. Information technology'due south not all fun and games, but humor is a great mode to salve stress!

Shalini Kagal from India on February 01, 2009:

k@ri - this is so funny! One doesn't quite realise that you can accept fun in serious places like hospitals too! Looking forward to hear more OR stories.

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